Sister-Zoned? You Are Not Alone.

Hi guys!!

How are you? and how was your work week? Today’s post is by Tomilola, she blogs at Please check it out.

I enjoyed reading the story and I’m sure you will. Please remember to leave a comment.

Have a fab weekend!!

It was a beautiful sunny Saturday, the birds chirped happily, children played joyfully by the make shift playground opposite my house and I was all dressed ready to meet up with Segun- my long lost friend.

Back at Unilag, Segun and I were inseparable. I mean, being one of the few female students studying Mechanical Engineering meant that I had lots of guys around me all the time, but in the midst of them all, Segun had a special place in my heart. We were often teased about being an ‘item’ but we shoved it off. I was way too concerned with getting a first class at the time, so relationships were the last thing on my mind. But that was three years ago, the story is different now. I’m so ready for the next phase of my life. I’ve got the first class honours, the job to die for at Chevron, but no guy on the horizon. I’m so tired of being a professional bridesmaid. I can even vouch that I make the most visits to Bella Naija website, but only to look at the wedding section. This wedding fever is so bad that there’s barely any guy I meet without wondering if he’s “the one”.

Anyway, so I met up with Segun at some Chinese Restaurant on the Island and it was exactly like old times- unending gist and loads of laughter (mehn, that guy is funny sha). But there was something else I noticed this time; his looks. Like seriously, how can someone be this ridiculously handsome and tall at the same time? Is that fair? Within two seconds of our date meet up, I had carefully placed him in the ‘could be the one’ folder and I even started drafting our ‘how we met’ story for Bella Naija- all in my head of course.

We got really close, too close to be honest. Everything seemed perfect, I already knew his family, he knew mine, he was my plus one to my weekly bridesmaid duties (seriously, I should have been paid for that, it was like my part time job), he would listen to me rant about my job for hours (although I really loved it at Chevron, well let’s be honest, it was the money) and he being in a similar but more senior role at Mobil would offer me lots of practical advice. We had been going steady like that for about three months, but yours truly wasn’t 100% sure where she stood with him, so I spoke to Biola my bestie about it.

Biola had been married for ten months and theirs seemed like the perfect marriage, from the outside anyway. Biola advised me to start dropping obvious hints and also try to get him jealous and right away it clicked, I had been giving him too much of my time yes, that was the problem I concluded. So for the next three weeks, my plan was to let him see less of me with the excuse that I was going on dates after which I’d happily gist him about the non-existent dates. O boy, this guy no wake up o, he’ll happily listen and tell me who to consider going on a second date with. Chai!

As usual, I gisted Biola and she decided it was time to go into phase two of our operation. It was the confrontation stage, as Biola referred to it as. “Just sit him down and ask him straight up”, Biola advised. I was so nervous, but I had to do it. It was the only way to get my wedding or rather our wedding featured on Bella Naija sooner rather than later. I had it all planned out. It was my birthday and he was taking me out to dinner after work. He picked me up as he had already told me not to drive to work, since he was going to be dropping me back home. On our way to dinner, I decided to check-in with Instagram. I hadn’t had time to do it all day as I had been particularly busy with work. Guess the first post I saw? It was a post dedicated to me from our beloved Segun and the caption read:

“You’re more than a million friends wrapped in one, combined with the beauty of another one million. You’re incredibly smart and talented, a great cook, if I must add (nothing beats your efo riro). Here’s wishing you a lovely birthday, I love you now and always. P.S: we should totally get married, we’re both single, right? Haha, nah! You’re just like a sister to me”

What? This guy just “sister-zoned” me, but he could not even do it one-on-one, he had to do it on INSTAGRAM, like really? Just when I had concluded our wedding arrangements. Life can be so unfair..LOL.
And oh, you already guessed right, dinner was horrible. I completely lost my appetite.

“Girl, are you kidding me, he wrote that? Gosh, this Segun guy is in a class of his own o.” Biola finished off. “Anyway, I’ll look on the bright side, he’s not interested abi? No wahala, at least I got to find out now. Better late than never” I consoled myself as I walked to my car and bade Biola goodbye.

The next few days were particularly difficult for me. I didn’t realise how close and attached I had become to Segun and breaking the attachment so abruptly wasn’t the easiest of things. I had to stop myself from texting him anytime I felt the urge to, which was every five minutes or so. Everything reminded me of him. But that wasn’t the worst part. The worst part was the tears. I couldn’t even explain it. Why was I so emotional about this? We didn’t break up, I mean we were never together, so why all these emotions? The fact that I couldn’t place my hands on it frustrated me the more. After about two weeks of trying hard to avoid Segun, ignoring his calls and hardly replying his texts, I was finally going to see him. It was inevitable, I had to be at Laura’s birthday dinner.

It was Laura, my very good friend’s birthday and her boyfriend, Sam was Segun’s childhood friend, so yes, he was definitely going to be there as well. I got to the restaurant quite late, no thanks to Lagos traffic and everyone was already seated at the table. There was only one seat left, so I had to take it, albeit reluctantly as it was right opposite Segun’s. The atmosphere around us was so tense and uncomfortable and I could see it in his eyes that he really wanted to talk to me, but I didn’t want to have that ‘talk’. I know he didn’t like me in ‘that way’, but I did not want to hear him say it, neither did I want him to know how I felt about him, so I really had to avoid him.

As the evening progressed, people seemed to loosen up a bit more and everyone got talking. Prior to now, I had been so preoccupied with trying to avoid Segun that I did not notice that the guy sat right next to me had his eyes on me. At some point, I got up to use the ladies and on my way back, the guy seized the opportunity to talk to me. You know the usual ‘you’re stunning, can I get your number line’? Yea, that. At first I declined, but then I realised that he seemed to be the kind of guy that wouldn’t mind spending the entire night trying to get my number and quite frankly, I didn’t have the strength for it, so I succumbed and gave it to him. Just then, Segun walked past. He didn’t seem pleased at all and next thing I knew, he walked right back and asked to speak to me when I had a moment. I should narrate the convo to you, but I honestly think it’s more interesting if you read it yourself. Here it goes:

Segun: hey

Me: hey.

Segun: how have you been?

Me: good

Segun: okkkayyy…what’s up with the one liners?

Me: what one liners? You asked a question, I responded.

Segun: look, I’ll cut to the chase. I really don’t know what’s going on with you, you just switched off like that and if I remember correctly, it was after your birthday meal. Not picking my calls, avoiding me, not replying my texts. I don’t know what’s up with you and it’s bothering me, it’s bothering me real bad.

*As he said that, my heart sank. For a moment I almost blurted out ‘you like me too’, but thankfully I came back to my senses rather quickly. It wasn’t so much about what he said, but how he said it. I could literally see the affection written all over him. But then, it occurred to me that the affection must have been from a brother to his ‘sister’.*

Me: Look Segun, we got too close and I just needed my space.

Segun: okkkayyy, this is making no sense. We get on really well and we’re pretty much best of friends and all of a sudden, this is a problem?

Me: Here’s the thing, I just don’t think it’s very healthy to have such a close relationship with a guy who isn’t my boyfriend or husband. Loads of people were beginning to think we were an item and it was scaring my male admirers off.

Segun: Exactly, I needed to scare them off. I don’t want to share you with anyone else, you’re too special to me.

Me: Yea right, as a sister abi?

Segun: What sister? Far from it. My feelings for you are far from sisterly. There’s something special here and I want us to take it to the next level.

Me: but that Instagram post though? What’s up with that?

Segun: that was my way of hinting marriage to you. It seemed to me like you only ever saw me as a ‘brother’, but I so desperately wanted more than that and so I figured if the word marriage and Segun came up in the same sentence, you’ll start thinking of me in that light. It sounds silly, I know. But that was my thinking at the time. Oh wait, did you like me as well? Is that the real reason behind the acting up? Hahahaha.

Me: LOL. Stop laughing jor. Yes, I thought you ‘sister-zoned’ me and it broke my heart.

Segun: Awww, come here sweetie, I’ll never do that to you. I love you too much for that. So are we official now?

I simply nodded with a huge grin on my face as he pulled me into a warm embrace.

Segun: I want to spend the rest of my life with you babes. I love you so much, it’s crazy. This past two weeks have been horrible. Even my boss advised I take a break from work as I seemed ‘distracted’ as he put it.

*At this point, I was in shock. I couldn’t believe it. The guy that I had spent the last two weeks crying over felt exactly the same way I do?*

“And this guy that you just gave your number to, he better not be calling you. Your BOYFRIEND wouldn’t like that” Segun said jokingly as he emphasised the word boyfriend.


24 thoughts on “Sister-Zoned? You Are Not Alone.

  1. Ore 22/08/2014 at 5:19 pm Reply

    Aww… Nice ending. I got younger-sister-zoned once, that shit can paiiinnn! Lols.


  2. atinukemi 22/08/2014 at 6:05 pm Reply

    Awww :). This is beautiful Tomi. I come against every spirit of sister- zonism πŸ˜›


  3. Tee Dee 22/08/2014 at 8:11 pm Reply

    Beautiful piece! loool i bind sister-zoning in Jesus name!


  4. exceptionalstar 22/08/2014 at 9:59 pm Reply

    Awww…. so sweet!


  5. toyinalabi 23/08/2014 at 3:03 pm Reply

    Lovely piece,sister zone indeed… Lol


  6. Alim Reira 23/08/2014 at 10:32 pm Reply

    Thumbs up. Good job and easy to comprehend.


  7. villebilingue 24/08/2014 at 7:16 pm Reply

    It can pain!


  8. Tomi Lawal 24/08/2014 at 9:25 pm Reply

    Thank you everyone for the lovely comments and thank you Feyi for posting it πŸ™‚
    P.s: you should have seen the way I was constantly refreshing your blog for the conclusion to Simi’s musings. Thanks for taking time to write it. I love happy endings πŸ™‚


    • Feyi's Dairy 25/08/2014 at 1:59 pm Reply

      You are welcome Tomi. Beautiful story πŸ™‚
      Thanks for following Simi’s Musings.


  9. Pelumi Oduleye 28/08/2014 at 9:39 am Reply

    This post is so real …..and really make sense….nice


  10. dolapo 03/09/2014 at 9:13 pm Reply

    really nice story, i love the way you wrote it, you write really well,it was funny and well put together.


    • Tomi Lawal 28/10/2014 at 2:57 am Reply

      Thank you Dolapo, I appreciate it and thanks for reading too.


  11. jade_ 06/09/2014 at 12:01 am Reply

    Awww, happy ending ❀ lovely blog Odun!


  12. MercieIfunanya 10/09/2014 at 6:06 am Reply

    Funny o o
    Buh dat kind tin ehn… ‘sisterly luv’ ke!


  13. MercieIfunanya 10/09/2014 at 6:07 am Reply

    Funny o o… wz just laughing at every juncture
    Buh dat kind tin ehn… ‘sisterly luv’ ke!


  14. Ebi 13/09/2014 at 7:44 pm Reply

    This story is absolutely beautiful. It had me grinning and smiling all through. I can totally relate to this. I just pray my own Segun finds me soon enough.


  15. glowingscenes 18/09/2014 at 11:17 pm Reply

    this was really interesting to read. I enjoyed it. Almost felt like a summer read sef. lol. Nice one Tomi


  16. Frances Okoro 02/10/2014 at 8:45 am Reply

    Awwww, and they lived happily ever after..


  17. Tomi Lawal 28/10/2014 at 2:58 am Reply

    Thanks for reading everyone. I’m glad you all liked it πŸ™‚


  18. feyilag 21/08/2015 at 12:19 pm Reply

    awwwn,nice.i av many guys av brother zoned.lolz d 1 I ril liked now lover zoned me,was behaving like my bf.i asked him 1 day 2 define our relationship& e sd I was his lover.i had 2 “flee” 4rm him oooo b4 e ties me down wit dat trash& marries ryt b4 me.


  19. airiblogger 28/04/2018 at 7:31 pm Reply

    seriously so damn lucky I wish that would happen with me but I know very well it won’t…I just wish he just kept me as a friend rather than calling me his sister πŸ˜•anyway its my fault I was expecting too much and maybe he sensed it before I could tell him more about what I feel for him


  20. print business card in nigeria 28/07/2018 at 9:03 pm Reply

    Thhanks for publishing thiis awesome article. I’m a long
    time reader but I’venever been compelled to leave a
    comment. I subscribed to your blog and shared this on my Facebook.
    Thanks again for a gredat post!


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