Trust your week has been good!
On the blog today, we interview David and Janet James. I stumbled on Janet’s Instagram’s page a few months ago, I can’t remember what she posted but I remember being drawn to her page. So I decided to stalk a bit and discovered they had just gotten married and also had a website.
I went on their website (please see link below), read about how they met and I I was attracted to them because of their stance on purity.
I contacted her via Instagram and I’m so happy they both decided to grant us this interview.
So grab some popcorn and enjoy the interview.
Hello David and Janet James, it is a pleasure to have you on Till We Say I Do Interviews! Please tell us a bit about yourselves.
David : I would like to characterize my life as a God lover and God chaser. I daily embrace God’s grace to live a life pleasing to Him by hosting the spirit of God in my day to day activity. I am committed and driven by passion and destiny to accomplish God’s ordained purpose for my life and excited at the opportunity to inspire people to likewise do the same. I am a father and loving husband.
I have a Bachelor’s degree in Computing and currently pursing a Masters in Business Administration(MBA) with a focus on finance. I am a software developer by profession with an entrepreneurial mind and skillset. I love music, poetry, drama and often enjoy a good read.
I have been called into several ministries, including the prophetic, evangelistic, pastoral ministries, and praise and worship.
As a worship leader I am the founder of Kingdom Levite Choir ( https://m.facebook.com/home.php?ref=content_filter¬if_t=group_highlights#~!/profile.php?id=143624309003885&ref=content_filter)with upcoming events scheduled for the up coming year and beyond.
Janet: I am a child of God, a Born-Again believer with heaven-bound convictions. I am a God chaser, devoted wife in support of my husband’s dreams, and a mother to our first born.
I have a college degree in Paralegal Studies and aso a Bachelors degree in Liberal Arts with a minor in Government and Politics from Saint John’s University NY.
I am a Paralegal by profession and I have recently been accepted to Law School to continue my education in becoming a Solicitor and Barrister with the aim to work with the mental health population.
I love catering to my family, seeing people worldwide come to the knowledge of Jesus Christ. I am also a future author working on a book soon to be published.
How long have you been married?
1 year 4 weeks.
How did you meet?
David: Early 2014, God started speaking to me regarding modesty in the church, that women ought to dress with modesty not adorning themselves with ornaments as 1 Peter 3:3 “Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel ” explains.
God impressed upon my heart that today’s fashion which includes women wearing that which pertains to a man was against His will and that it was a cause of increase in homo sexual behaviours amongst children and adults today. Being there’s no distinct difference from both sexes hence affecting children’s judgment of their sexuality; Deuteronomy 22:5 . God expounded to me that many other fashion trends seen in most Pentecostal churches were suggestive that God’s work from creation wasn’t perfect. i.e. women wearing make up.
During this period, I was praying to God in the area of marriage and looking around. I knew God was talking to me with regards to marriage in the area of who he had in mind for me to being a woman who is not given to following these worldly trends and who is publicly open about such convictions as mine.
After further seeking God’s face, I felt led to search the deeper life youth facebook page and after several searches, I came across Janet’s post. In her post she mentioned that the general overseer of the Deeper Christian life church, pastor Kumuyi had advised the church to be careful so that we don’t get faulted by Deut. 22:5 in the day of judgement. After further browsing of her page, I noticed she had written lots of blogs and posts concerning her convictions on modesty and purity.
On seeing this, I felt led to contact her and she informed me to find out about the deeper life procedure, of which I did, visiting the Deeper Life Church UK headquarters in the UK and further contacting the New Jersey church branch.
After our first contact, I had continued to pray more about her and continued to get more confirmations.
Janet: On August 1st, unknown to me my husband stricked up a conversation with me via Facebook, encouraging me about the preaching of my convictions on the blog I had as a single and social media.
I didn’t know who he was but a sister I know cheered me on to respond to him and not ignore him; so I asked him why he was led and encouraged by the posting of my convictions and he went through so many scriptures as we kept talking back and forth.
He stated during the conversation he had been praying and observing me from afar and wanted to get to know me for the intention of marriage. I told him I don’t deal with request like these on Facebook(any longer) and he would have to contact my marriage committee and leaders within the Deeper Life Bible Church in New Jersey I was attending at the time.
During that time I added him on Facebook and didnt know if he woud really contact my church or not. He ended up contacting my church; a few months later I get a call from my pastors wife in support of my husband’s request to pursue me in courtship. I was told to pray.
Through researching him online, a God inspired list of qualities in a husband I had written down which included a man who loved God, educated, was gifted musically, among others things, alongside ultimately reading the Bible and coming to a verse in 1st Samuel, as well as attaining peace I believed David T. James was my husband.
We started courtship January 2015, and were permitted to meet in person for the first time May 2015 which further solidified our love and knowing truly God brought us together for a purpose.
What do you like most about being married?
David: I like everything about being married! That is a an interesting yet difficult question but if you really want me to say something, having a companion to travel life with ; a comforter , a helpmeet is what captures my admiration for marriage and my wife.
Janet: Knowing my husband has a divine purpose from God ministerially, business wise, and educationally and likewise for me, makes me continuously excited to grow with my husband and watch our future unveil itself.
Also knowing I chose a God led man makes me excited to pursue intimacy in a safe space and produce children that will be loved and raised in the way of the Lord!
What are your love languages?
David: My wife’s primary love language is words of affirmation.
Janet: My husband’s primary love language is Acts of Service.
”The decision to abstain from pre-marital sex should be the goal of every believer desiring Christian courtship ”- David
Describe your spouse in 3 words.
David: Reliable, Faithful, Virtuous
Janet: Loving, Encouraging, Wise
Why did you decide to abstain from pre-marital sex?
David: The descision to abstian from pre-marital sex should be the goal of every believer desiring Christian courtship.
The benefits of such decision include attracting God’s blessings on the union, eliminating issues that may arise as a result of distrust , and ultimately securing a lifetime testimony of faithfulness to God in purity.
”I did everything within God’s strength in me to continue to allow my husband to pursue me. Now we are married he is grateful I made him wait!” – Janet
Janet: I came from a past where l didn’t hold abastaining from sex in a high regard. Once I became born again and started truly living out a relationship with Christ, I started following the scripture principles on staying sexually pure till marriage.
This verse was especially one I meditated on concerning marriage “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” Hebrews 13:4
If we honor God with our life and body then He sure will honor our beds to be undefiled.
Also as ladies the economics of sex says we hold the power in giving up of sex. If we don’t give it up, men are still wired to pursue a woman they want to make love to, despite the information and porn filled age we live in. So ladies if you know a man wants to pursue you for the intention of marriage, this comes with a high desire to keep you exclusively for himself and be physically intimate with you.
I did everything within God’s strength in me to continue to allow my husband to pursue me and now we are married he is greatful I made him wait!
What practical measures did you take to abstain from pre-marital sex?
David: Abstaining from late night conversations; being in public places at night. Hanging out together around friends and family.
Ultimately allowing the marriage committee within our church to stir the direction of the relationship while prayerfully asking God for grace.
Janet: One thing my husband forgot to mention is he had a bunch of bible verses as his background wallpaper on him, helping him run away from temptation by keeping focussed on being pure in body and MIND. Sexual temptation is a mind thing way before it becomes the physical act of sexual intercourse.
Another thing we did was put our faces as our phone screensaver so we could grow more affectionate for each other. We didn’t grow up together and we only met first in the spiritual realm via our prayers and the first time ever in person a little over year before our wedding. So the more I looked into my husband eyes via video chat and pictures, the more I was excited to wait only for HIM for marriage.
A problem in some relationships is also stepping out of a courtship to be sexually intimate with another person! (It’s sad).
We also stopped video chatting less at night. I say this because there was always a 6-8 hour time zone difference because he lived in the UK and I in America. So talking at night couldn’t really stop.
We also both worked and were students; so we stopped video chatting and made conversations only verbal to avoid romantic phrases and riské loose house clothings that may show our intimate parts and or arouse our parts because of our close prayers and sharing of our past secrets. (I believe intimate conversations close to the honeymoon night as you prepare for your honeymoon night should be normal).
”Sexual temptation is a mind thing way before it becomes the physical act of sexual intercourse.”- Janet
Did you face temptation? How did you deal with peer pressure?
David: Temptations during this period are real because you are emotionally and physically drawn to your future spouse. You two are communicating every day on a plethora of issues. It was important to realize the reality of temptations and so I decided to do all I could to not fall in the trap of sexual impurity.
Janet: Not sure what else I can add in addition to what my husband mentioned above. I would say there were clear boundaries laid out in the beginning of our courtship.
We both didn’t believe we couldn’t go out just us two together but we chose public places and it worked out fine. We were often in the car together just us two driving to church or pre-marital counselling but we knew the Holy Spirit was there.
I did everything within God’s strength in me to continue to allow my husband to pursue me. Now we are married he is grateful I made him wait!
Why is sex worth waiting for?
David: Sex is worth waiting for because it brings God’s blessings on the union, eliminates issues that may arise as a result of distrust and ultimately secures a lifetime testimony of faithfulness to God in purity.
Janet: Kissing and sex is worth waiting for because after exploring your soon to be spouse mentally, it is so special once you’ve made a public commitment before God and the public to express your love for each other physically, which is what the Bible calls for.
We are to be intimate with our spouse because our bodies are wired for sexual touch and so to avoid temptations we are to have one partner for life.
Any advice to young Christians?
David: Falling into sexual sin, does not have to be the norm in a Christian courtship. No matter what you have done you should repent, seek God for forgiveness and rededicate your life and relationship to God. Godly counsel should be sought as well when necessary.
Janet: I feel like I gave a lot of advice above in my other answers.
But you might have the head knowledge of all we said above and the Bible’s stance on sex and may fall into forplay (kissing, fundling, sexting) or intercourse, if so, just repent and don’t walk in shame! Jesus Christ came for you. He didn’t condemn you. Repent and now walk in forgiveness.
Also all God ordained courtships and marriages are to be examples to the world.
A prayer point for all Christians should be: God make me an example of your good works Amen.
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Janet Adeola James
Thanks for reading!!
Have a blessed weekend.