Category Archives: Till We Say I DO Interviews

Till We Say I DO Interviews – Mr and Mrs A

Hello Everyone!

Welcome to another edition of Till We Say I Do Interviews. If you want to catch up on previous editions, click here.

Today’s couple have chosen to remain anonymous for personal reasons. Just so you know, they are not imaginnery lol. I’m friends with Mrs A and and I remember we had a conversation about how they abstained from pre-marital sex a few years ago. So, I definitely knew I was going to interview them. I also think they are very very romantic!

Mrs A opens up about being sexually abused as a young child, how it broke her and eventually made her passionate about women.


Hello Mr and Mrs A, it is a pleasure to have you on Till We Say I Do Interviews! Please tell us a bit about yourselves.

Mrs A: I am an IT Project Manager by profession excitedly preparing for a change in career soon, a Christian who is totally sold out to Christ, a wife, mother and teacher. I have a passion to see women (sisters) fulfill all that God has called us to be. I am very involved in the women department of my parish.

Mr A : I am a son of God, a Properties sales manager, a loving husband and wonderful father if I do say so myself *laughs*

Mr A, how did you meet Mrs A?

I met her in church after a service. I actually walked over and struck a conversation because I had the leading to. During the service that day, while ministering, God told me that I would meet my wife and when the service ended the Holy Spirit lead me outside and directed me to go say hello. That was the first time we struck a conversation but a year before I had seen her at another church event. I was sharing refreshments to guests and served her (she got in late). I noticed her beauty but I wasn’t lead to speak to her that day.

Mrs A, what attracted you to Mr A?

His lips *covers face*. Before we ever struck up a conversation, his lips made me take a second look at him. When we finally became friends and started talking, I got attracted to his pure heart. My husband is a very sincere and trusting individual. He has no room in his heart for bitterness, envy, hatred, anger or unforgiveness and that really attracted me to him.

How long have you been married?

We have been married for about 4 years.

Describe your spouse in one word.

Mrs A: Amazing. I actually call him Mr Amazing.

Mr A: Awesome

I’ve noticed you both are very romantic! Who is more romantic and why?

*laughs* Funny enough, we tease each other that we are very unromantic! So when people say we are romantic, we are usually a bit surprised. We honestly just show how we feel about ourselves, no pretenses. I guess that is what people see and describe as romantic. We are very good friends; best friends actually so that vibe is there. We relate more as friends in love than as spouses. We sometimes even forget we are married because of how free we are with ourselves.

What are your love languages?

Mr A: Physical Touch

Mrs A: Acts of service

Why did you decide to wait?

Mrs A: I decided to wait because of my walk with God. I suffered abuse as a young child so for a long time I felt dirty and unworthy. I was too young to understand the depth of what happened but I carried that burden that maybe I wasn’t good enough that’s why it happened to me. The first time was at the age of 7 and it was a youth from church. Then it happened again with someone from the choir and the most damaging I would say was a minister who took advantage of me. It broke me and I just did not understand why I was being abused. Deciding to wait for me was as a result of finding myself in Christ – who I truly am and realizing that all that happened was not my fault. I refused to let the ill-actions of these trusted people ruin me. This is one of the reasons I am passionate about women. A lot of women have been abused in one way or the other and carry deep hurts (some from childhood) that are yet still fresh; like new…open wounds and this can in turn affect our seeds (children; biological or otherwise), family, esteem and our purpose which Christ has called us to if not properly handled. The decision to wait was a challenge to myself not to fall for the horrible voice of the devil which kept saying that I was unworthy of waiting because of the abuse.

Mr A: I was very involved in the children and teenager’s church while growing up so I didn’t have much room to be in situations that would cause me to engage in such activities and when I became a young adult I in turn started serving as a teenage teacher in church. The decision to wait was fuelled by the people I was teaching and who were looking up to me. I had to make them see that it was possible to wait.

“Also I knew that the decision to wait made him respect me and I didn’t want to lose that respect.” – Mrs A

What practical steps did you take to make it possible?

Mrs A : Delayed gratification. We knew we were going to get married so I looked forward to that special day. It didn’t seem unachievable as I was in a relationship. It might be abit difficult for someone who is single to fully utilize this since there is no partner to look forward to it with but it helped me.

Also I knew that the decision to wait made him respect me and I didn’t want to lose that respect. Whenever I felt weak I would remember the respect and hold body *laughs* I used to be quite full of myself so respect was a big deal to me.

I made friends with people of like minds. I made sure my friends were people who had the same values with me so we encouraged one another.

Mr A: Do not fall for the trick of masturbation. It would not help you. I prayed and believed that God would give me an awesome sexual life in marriage. My love language is physical touch so it wasn’t easy for me. One of the things I did was to avoid discussing masturbation which is a common topic among males. I also avoided consuming sexual materials whether written, audio or video. I took a cold bath when the urges seemed unbearable and went out for a run or to the gym to burn out the excess energy.

Mr & Mrs A: Don’t be alone with a member of the opposite sex for extended periods of time.

Don’t hug or encourage physical touch with members of the opposite sex.

Understand and appreciate your self-worth. Anyone asking you for your premarital sex is not encouraging you to be a vessel unto honour. Be willing to cut ties where necessary.

Avoid going into relationships when you know you do not want to get married anytime soon, don’t arouse or awaken love until it’s time.

Know yourself and what your triggers are and map out a plan to avoid those triggers. If one of your triggers is romantic books for e.g then dump them for more edifying materials. Know yourself.

Find someone more mature in faith to be accountable to. Please limit approaching someone who is unmarried lest things get complicated. Also limit it to the same sex please, do not choose someone of the opposite sex even if married to be accountable to if possible.

Be sensitive to what consumes your time. Fill your hours so that you do not have idle time. An idle mind can truly become the devil’s workshop.

Be part of a bible believing church where the true word of God is taught and be active.

Avoid being best friends with someone of the opposite sex as much as possible please.

Don’t underestimate the power of prayers.

Avoid going into relationships when you know you do not want to get married anytime soon, don’t arouse or awaken love until it’s time. – Mr and Mrs A

How did you deal with peer pressure?

Mrs A: I made friends with people of like values so there was no pressure to experiment in that aspect. I didn’t have friends who put such pressure on me.

For someone dealing with peer pressure I would advise that you change your circle of friends. Also, find a mentor who can encourage and help you deal with such pressures.

Above all, know who you are in Christ and be confident so that no one can fool you or make you feel less of who Christ has called you to be. Spend time knowing yourself and growing in your walk with God. Don’t be desperate to associate with any and everybody so that you are not easily swayed.

Mr A: For guys a lot of us hype things so don’t fall for the hype. Most times they are all lies and haven’ done what they are saying.

I attended a boy’s only school so it was common to hear sex talks. When I was younger I feel for the hype and would lie that I was doing stuff as well when I was not *laughs*. But by the time I got to senior secondary school I stopped engaging in such conversations and let people know the side I truly was on – the Lord’s side. If you let people see where you stand, they would be careful to say some things around you.

It was not as easy in the university though because you would have girls (some even from church) try all sorts of things to get in bed with you. I made sure to avoid such people and I refused to be alone with any girl. If there was no one around then we had to sit out in the open.

Sex is powerful, you join your body, soul and spirit with the other person when you sleep with them so it is not a casual activity. It takes only some minutes but it can actually ruin destinies. – Mrs A

Why is sex worth waiting for?

Mr A: Because it is mind blowing

Mrs A : lol

Mr A: Well, sex is worth waiting for because of that victorious feeling of achievement when you are able to wait. It makes you know that you are powerful in Christ and that your body does not rule you. It is also a good thing to have guiltless sex and explore as you want in the confines of marriage.

Mrs A: Firstly, it is worth waiting for because that is what God has commanded of us. If we say we are for Christ, then we need to adhere to his instructions. Also, sex is worth waiting for because like my husband said having guiltless sex is incomparable.

Practically, you also keep yourself safe from STDs and unwanted pregnancies. It also makes your relationships less complicated when you wait. Sex is powerful, you join your body, soul and spirit with the other person when you sleep with them so it is not a casual activity. It takes only some minutes but it can actually ruin destinies.

Any advice for young Christians?

Mr A: Always put God first.

Mrs A: “We fall down but we get up…”. If you have been engaging in premarital sex, pick yourself up. Like an adage says, it is when you wake up that is morning (though please do not wake up too late, the world is coming to an end soon). Do not let the guilt eat you up, take that decision to let the blood that Christ shed on the cross of Calvary not go to waste. Activate the power of that blood and ask for God to wash away the sin of immorality and help you stay pure.

If you have not engaged in premarital sex, kudos! Do not bed tempted to experiment. Don’t listen to the world and hold dear the teaching of our Lord. It is worth waiting.

Please, for Christians who are preparing to get married, take your counselling seriously. Do not neglect to read and educate yourselves about sex so that you go in with a balanced mind-set. It will not be all bombs at first but be willing to explore and know your likes and that of your spouse especially in the early days of your marriage. For Christians who have been molested or abused, please cast those burdens on the cross, and remember that it was of no fault of yours. That voice that keeps saying you are dirty is a lying voice, silence it with the authority in Christ. You will pull through by God’s grace.

In conclusion, don’t stop discovering with your spouse. You need to be friends so that open discussions can take place in your home. Be knowledgeable and read widely because changes will occur. Sex after a birth is another ball game so is sex during pregnancy.

Above all, do not neglect to make sure your core friends i.e. your inner circle are people of like values.


Who else feels this interview is loaded?! I sure do! Mrs A’s passion for women is evident in her responses.

Again, the importance of godly friendships cannot be over emphasised.  Just as Mrs A said, if you have been engaging in premarital sex, do not let guilt eat you up, ask God to wash away the sin of immorality and help you stay pure.

Why not share this post with someone who needs to be encouraged, someone who needs to know that there are still christians abstaining from pre-marital sex.

Thanks for reading!

Have a fabulous looooong weekend.

Till We Say I Do Interviews – Chinedu and Agnes Ossai

Hello 😀

Thank God is Fri-yay! Fridays are my favorite days for obvious reasons lol. I go to work with a bounce in my steps knowing that there is no work for the next two days.

We have our second edition of Till We Say I Do Interviews. If you missed the first one, click here. 

On the blog today, we interview Chinedu and Agnes Ossai. I’ve known them for a little over 4 years and always seen them as two people who are clearly in love with one another. The way they hold hands, the names they call each other and just the friendship between them.

My sisters and I went to visit them a while back and we watched their wedding video and they told us how they met. When we got back home, I told my sisters that I really liked them!

Without further ado, let’s get to the interview, shall we?

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Hello Chinedu and Agnes Ossai, it is a pleasure to have you on Till We Say I Do Interviews! Please tell us a bit about yourselves.

Chinedu (Husband)- Chinedu Ossai is a lawyer by profession. One of three boys from a family with three other female siblings of the Ukwuani descent of Delta State. Most importantly, a Christian.

Agnes (Wife)– My name is Agnes Ossai. I have a degree in Education and proud to be an Educator. I love to impart youngsters, enjoy giving godly counsel to singles also enjoy listening to godly music.

How long have you been married?

We’ve been married for 5 years.

How did you meet?

Chinedu – We were in the same youth choir, I was a secret but platonic admirer of her simple disposition to life, especially the Christian faith. At the time when it became evident that I needed to start preparing by way of prayer before tying the nuptial knot, I became drawn to her. The more I tried to resist the inner assurance that it was her, the more I became drawn to her. I just had to let it be.

Please note that we attended the same primary and secondary school and almost attended the same university, grew up in the same community in Lagos, but all these factors did not in any way influence my decision to marry her. It was just love for simplicity and display of Christianity in a most alluring way. Got the ball rolling in 2010 and tied the knot on January 14 2012.

Agnes – My Chinedu happened to be a family friend. He was a leader and choirmaster in my church. One day, he came visiting as usual and I saw him off. As I returned, I heard an audible voice from God that he was my husband. I objected immediately but couldn’t resist. He asked me out after a while then I remembered I heard God’s voice.

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Did you have a “list” for your future spouse? If yes, what did you have on the list?

Chinedu – Simplicity, humility, educated, not eccentrically extrovertish, natural beauty, all embedded in the Christian life.

Agnes –I did oh. A Godly man; tall, dark and handsome; a man who will always take me for who I am and loves me more than I do; someone who says I love you frequently without the need to remind him to say so; someone who would gist with me in the kitchen while I cook; not stingy at all; a man who will not encourage me to backslide… my list was long but I’ll stop here.

The truth is that, my man, my love has all and more of the qualities I listed above, making me the happiest wife in the world!

Describe your spouse in on word.

Chinedu – Christian

Agnes – Mr. Fantastic

 Why did you decide to wait?

Chinedu – Because God wanted me to wait. I also grew up with friends who had the same resolve and I also prayed for the grace to wait.

Agnes- We are both Christians and the Bible says that marriage is honourable and the bed undefiled. Also, I had always told myself I want to start having sex only after I have gone to the altar.

“Sex is sweet only when having it with your husband. The rush will not be there and you’ll take your time to enjoy it to the fullest.” – Agnes

 What practical steps did you take to make it possible?

Agnes – We tried as much as possible not to get too close together when we were alone or where people couldn’t see us. Avoided thoughts of immorality when together, we did not try to hug each other before marriage, let alone kissing. Though the thought was always there, I kept reminding myself of the promise I made. I also didn’t want to disappoint my parents and the church.

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 How did you deal with peer pressure?

Chinedu – Peer pressure was no issue because from my youthful age, I defined the rule of friendship engagement. The church helped a whole lot to define who could be my friend. At school, I had christians from the school fellowship as friends; on campus, my close friends were christians, though not restricted to my denominational fellowship.

The deciding factor for me was that my christian identity and standard was an open secret at every point of my developmental stage. I never attended any birthday parties at unholy hours not at unholy places.

I never pretended to be a holy genius. Hence, I was careful and cautious in my approach to life. A lady once admired my lips and requested to touch it but I refused. That is not to say, I never had near falls but God’s mercy was always there for me. Job 31:1 was a song among my peer group while growing up and this helped a whole lot.

Agnes – Well, it was easy quite easy for me because I was brought up in a godly home. I am a gentle girl and have very few friends and always minded my business.

“Never test your strength by putting yourself in a compromising situation.” – Chinedu

Why is sex worth waiting for?

Chinedu – Those who waited found out after all that there was no need to rush for it. The intermittent urge for it prior to marriage won’t kill. There is a joy that comes after a patient wait. The opportunity to share the experience is also a reason to wait. Also, blackmail and STDs are also avoided.

Agnes –Wow sex is worth waiting for! Doing it outside marriage is like “thieving”. One would be doing it with the fear of being caught. Having that type of fear doesn’t make pre-marital sex worth it cause you’ll just be punishing yourself. Sex is “sweet” only when having it with your husband. The rush will not be there and you’ll take your time to enjoy it to the fullest.

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 Any advice for young Christians?

Chinedu- Young Christians must have life principles that are worth dying for. Watch where they go, what they see and whom they choose as friends. A chirstian leader told me few weeks after his wedding, which was prior to mine, why the rush? Just wait for it, you’ll enjoy it and get tired of it.

Never test your strength by putting yourself in a compromising situation. Learn to say no to even supposed Christian friends in compromising situations. Idleness is a killer and a veritable tool in the hands of the devil; be busy with something productive for the lord also. Selah

Agnes- Young Christians should patiently wait for the right person. Abstain from all pre-martial sex because it may mar their marriage. Do not be in a haste to bite what you cannot finish. Marry someone who loves you and who is God fearing.

Don’t be carried away because of the title or position of the person in church, pray very well and be convinced before accepting the proposal. Finally, keep yourself only for your would be spouse.


 

Who else noticed they had matching  outfits in all the pictures?! I hope you enjoyed this interview as much as I did​. Just as Chinedu said, never test your strength by putting yourself in a compromising situation.

What lessons did you pick up? Please share with us in the comment section.

Thank you for reading! Please share this post with other people!

Have an awesome weekend!

Xoxo

 

P.S : If you would like to be interviewed please send an email to feyisdiary@gmail.com

Till We Say I DO Interviews – Demola and Busayo Abolarin

Hello people!

We have our very fist interview on the blog!!! As I mentioned in my previous post, I am introducing a new feature on the blog titled Till We Say I DO interviews. The purpose of these interviews is to share experiences from christian couples who abstained for pre-marital sex before saying I DO.

In our world today, sexual purity and chastity seem very old fashioned and christians even find it difficult to speak up about sexual purity. I pray that we are encouraged by these interviews and aware that there are still believers who obey God’s word.

In Hebrews 13:4, the Bible says “Marriage is honourable among all and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers, God will judge. So, just because Hollywood or Nollywood depict that pre-marital sex is fine, does not make it right. Remember, God’s standard has not changed! He is the same yesterday, today and forever.

If you have been engaging in pre-marital sex, it is not too late to repent and ask God for forgiveness. The Bible says in 1 John 1:9 that “if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.”

Our first couple is Ademola and Busayo Abolarin. Busayo and I are cousins and I was her maid of honour. I don’t quite remember having a discussion with her about abstaining from pre-marital sex but I just knew that they waited till they said I DO from spending time with them during their introduction and wedding weekend.

When I was collating the names of couples to interview, they came to my mind immediately. I asked and they agreed!

So, grab some popcorn, a drink and enjoy the interview!


Hello Demola and Busayo Abolarin, it is a pleasure to have you on Till We Say I Do Interviews! Please tell us a bit about yourselves.

Busayo (Wife) – I am Busayomi Abolarin. A pharmacist, singer, mother of two and married to Ademola Abolarin.

Demola (Husband) – I’m Demola Abolarin, I work as a resident hemotologist at University of Ilorin teaching hospital, Ilorin. I’m from Kwara state, married to a lovely wife with two great kids, love God and sports.

How long have you been married?

Busayo and Demola – 3 years.

Demola, how did you meet Busayo?

I met Busayo at work. She came to meet someone in my department and I complimented her aloud (I didn’t think she would hear me). She did, turned around to face me and the rest is history.

Busayo, was it love at first sight?

No, it wasn’t love at first sight.

So, what attracted you to Demola?

Lets see…it was his uniqueness. He believes so much in God and himself and does not allow the environment define or change who he is. For me thats solid.

Top three qualities you love about your spouse?

Busayo – Confident, considerate and a large heart.

Demola- Her honesty, intelligence and her love for God.

You must have heard about the 5 love languages. What are your love languages? What makes your love tank overflow?

Busayo – Quality time, acts of service and gifts.

Demola – I wouldn’t say I have specific love languages per se, but these are some of the things she does that makes me love her more:

  • when she wears herself out trying to do something for me
  • when I’m down and she gives me some encouragement
  • her smile.

“I asked the Holy Spirit regularly for help and strength. I was determined to wait and put boundaries in place like not watching sexual things all the time or staying alone with the opposite sex in enclosed places.” – Busayo

Why did you decide to wait?

Busayo – Because it was the right thing to do and the bible says so.

Demola – For me, it was about trying to please God in my relationships. I also made up my mind not to jump from girl to girl. Most of my friends who were having sex got fed up after a few months or even weeks and broke up. This gave me some more motivation.

 What practical steps did you take to make it possible?

Busayo– I asked the Holy Spirit regularly for help and strength. I was determined to wait and put boundaries in place like not watching sexual things all the time or staying alone with the opposite sex in enclosed places.

Demola – It wasn’t easy, I must tell you. What helped was that I actively avoided situations that could lead to me sleeping over. That took some resolve, especially when you are enjoying each other’s company.

Having the right type of friends also helped. Temptations were stronger when I had friends or close acquaintance who were doing what I did not want to do; when I kept my distance, things became easier.

“Having the right type of friends eliminates peer pressure.” – Demola

Why is sex worth waiting for?

Ademola – A lot of reasons. First, God commands us to wait and for a good reason too. Most couples who jump into sexual activities end up having only sex in common. It has a way of dominating the relationship and making other important things like communication seem irrelevant.

Stolen water is sweet, but later leaves a sour taste. Many people who jump into sex find themselves bored with their spouse and set off to find another high, leading to a lot of bitter, dejected single ladies and a lot of insatiable young men.

Finally, there is always a risk of an unwanted pregnancy. Premarital sex often ends up in a baby bump, leading to a critical decision: abortion or shame. A lot of young couples have needlessly scarred themselves by getting into this position.

Sex is the crux of marriage, the cream, the spice. If the sex life in a marriage is sour because the couple is bored with one another, then the only way is down.

It is worth the wait.

Any advice for young Christians?

Busayo –Know what you stand for and stick with it. Maintain constant fellowship with the Holy Spirit. Also surround yourself with the right people such as friends who are also willing to wait till marriage. Don’t let anyone define who you are but God’s word.

Demola – As I said earlier, I reduced the number of unbeliever friends I had. For the ones I had to keep, I kept my private life out of our discussions. Having the right type of friends eliminates peer pressure.

Identity also matters; once you are known to be a Christian, they might joke about your refusal to be like them, but they won’t pressurise you and keep away for fear of you reprimanding them. A double identity however, invites enormous pressure.


I found this interview very interesting and picked up some key points! Busayo and Demola spoke about the importance of godly friendships. It is very important to be surrounded by friends who have the same stance on purity.

I’m sure you picked up some points too, please share in the comment section. Thanks for reading!

P.S  If you would like to be interviewed or know a christian couple who would love to be interviewed, please send me an email at feyisdiary@gmail.com

Stay blessed and have an awesome weekend!

Feyi